Dear Sibling (you know who you are),
It was during the Thanksgiving visit that you ooo'ed and ahh'ed over the miniscule tripod I'd snagged for a mere $2.95 at the Amish store in St. Ignatius. And I listened to you when you begged, pleaded, and cajoled, saying you needed that tiny tripod when you went running and brought your camera along to take pictures. And how many pictures you would then send me, if only you had the tiny tripod! And I believed you, just as I believed you in third grade when you said you were going home from the Audubon School Carnival early and you'd carry the cake I won in the cake walk home for me. The last I saw of that cake were the tell-tale crumbs on your face.
So I ask, how many pictures has anybody received since then? Huh? Huh? Not one measly one.
It was during the Thanksgiving visit that you ooo'ed and ahh'ed over the miniscule tripod I'd snagged for a mere $2.95 at the Amish store in St. Ignatius. And I listened to you when you begged, pleaded, and cajoled, saying you needed that tiny tripod when you went running and brought your camera along to take pictures. And how many pictures you would then send me, if only you had the tiny tripod! And I believed you, just as I believed you in third grade when you said you were going home from the Audubon School Carnival early and you'd carry the cake I won in the cake walk home for me. The last I saw of that cake were the tell-tale crumbs on your face.
So I ask, how many pictures has anybody received since then? Huh? Huh? Not one measly one.
This calls for extreme measures. Extortion. Blackmail. A picture of your adopted child indulging in his (or her, I forget) strange habits, taken by the paraparrazzi, perhaps? Nyah ha ha (that's Snidely Whiplash, you fool), then extortion, it is...
Take that, you! Your Loving Sister, Mary
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